Foster Care
by Liselle129
Summary: Roxanne uses her "nosy reporter skills" to get Megamind's perspective on growing up in prison, and they end up comparing orphanages with the foster care system.  Assumes an established relationship.


Disclaimer: I do not own Megamind. That belongs to Dreamworks, etc.

Author's Note: Another Megamind oneshot. I guess that's what happens when you read a lot of stories in this fandom. I know I'm not the only person to speculate about why the baby Megamind didn't get turned over to the appropriate authorities. This is my take. When I started, I thought this was going to be a really short scene, but it sort of took on a life of its own.

**Foster Care**

"I have one big question," said Roxanne after Megamind had finished telling her about his childhood one evening. They were sitting at the lair with Minion, enjoying a rare few hours of relaxation when no crises were threatening. "Why in the world did the Warden let you grow up in a prison? That makes no sense to me!"

Megamind leaned back on the couch, steepling his fingers as he considered his answer.

"At the time, of course, I had no way of knowing that it was at all unusual," he began. "I had no knowledge of the customs of this planet and only sketchy recollections of my own. It was only later, when I realized that I was the only child there, that I asked some questions and started to understand that my living there was not part of the normal course of things. As I look back, I think the Warden might have been trying to protect me."

"Protect you?" That was just about the last thing she would have considered as a possibility.

"The inmates hid me quite well for the first year," Megamind explained. "By the time the Warden found out I was there, it felt like home to me."

"But…he should have turned you over to social services!" Roxanne exclaimed.

"And they would have done what, exactly?" he challenged. "What do you think would be the protocol for an abandoned alien toddler?"

Roxanne opened her mouth to speak but caught herself, realizing for the first time how unique a situation this would have been. What sort of foster parents would want to take in a large-headed, scrawny, blue creature? Even if his appearance as an infant might have inspired some amount of parental feeling, it seemed unlikely that he'd have any chance at all of being adopted. As challenging as Metroman must have been as a child, given his powers, he at least _looked_ human, and he'd had people willing to take him in.

"Government testing facility?" she hazarded.

"Very likely," he agreed, not seeming too perturbed about it. "Unlike Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes, I didn't have rich parents to stand up for my rights. An obviously alien creature, with no one to speak for him but convicted criminals? It would have been an unethical scientist's dream."

"I guess you would know," she said archly, slipping a little bit back into their old bantering pattern.

"Indeed. If there had still been or-_phon_-ages, like the ones I've read about, he might have done as you say. Certainly, if he'd been following the letter of the law, he would have."

"But he didn't."

"Well, by the time he discovered my existence, the prisoners were already quite attached to me," Megamind continued his narrative. "They might not have been ideal parents, but at least they cared, in their own fashion. And since it is a facility for the criminally gifted, my education was not neglected, even if the direction it took was not viewed with favor by society as a whole."

"You know, maybe he did make the right decision," Roxanne conceded.

"Oh, the great reporter Roxanne Ritchi, admitting that she might have been wrong about something?" Megamind grinned, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, I'm not perfect."

"A subject, perhaps, for future debate," he said smoothly. "Beside the point, however. What do you call the current system for…unwanted children?"

Roxanne winced a little at his blunt characterization, but she couldn't deny that there was some truth in it. Most people these days designated guardians for their children, in case something happened. As a result, relatively few orphans ended up in the social system. It was more common for at least one parent to be living but to be determined unfit for one reason or another.

"Foster care," she answered his question.

"Foster care," he echoed, trying the words out. "Why was that system started?"

"I think the idea was that children would do better in a single home with a mother and father, even if it was temporary," she explained. "You know, so they could live more like everybody else. And maybe people in government thought the children would be more likely to be adopted. A lot of kids stayed in orphanages until they were 18 and were basically thrown out on their own. You know, out of sight, out of mind. In practice, though…" she trailed off, considering. She'd been assigned to do a story on the fostering system early in her career, and she hadn't liked a lot of what she'd seen.

"From what I've read, there were some benefits to the or-_phon_-ages," Megamind offered when she didn't continue. Roxanne didn't bother correcting him; these little mispronunciations were part of him, and she'd grown to like them. "Although life in them wasn't always pleasant, at least the children all had something in common – they were all alone in the world. And the buildings often had schools in them, too, didn't they?"

"Yes," Roxanne confirmed. "I understand the reasoning behind switching to foster care, but there are a lot of problems with it. It's hard to get enough foster parents, for one thing, and the State doesn't always check them out as well as they should. It's really rare for the foster parents to adopt, so that side of it didn't really pan out, and the couples who _do_ want to adopt don't have a central place to go to find children who need families. The system separates brothers and sisters from each other, and in real life, the kids bounce around from one place to another with all of their things in garbage bags. When they're the only ones in school without real backpacks, it calls them out as different."

"Life in shool is very difficult when you're different," said Megamind sagely.

"That you really do know about," sighed Roxanne. He'd skimmed over a lot of his school days, but she was resolved to ask Metro– that is, MusicMan – about it soon. She'd learned enough to guess that MusicMan, when he was younger, had effectively created Megamind, the supervillain. That put a whole new light on their rivalry.

"So you see?" Megamind concluded. "My childhood was not so bad. I had stable surroundings with familiar faces. Most of my 'uncles' were in for 20-30 years, plenty of time for me to reach adulthood. I had ample raw materials with which to build whatever my fancy dreamed up. There was always Minion and the Warden, too, of course."

Roxanne couldn't help but smile, although it was tinged with a little sadness. Listening to his version of events, his early life sounded almost idyllic. It was certainly better than many of the cases she'd learned of during her research.

"When you put it that way, I guess it could have been worse," she conceded. All at once, Megamind's green eyes lit up with that almost maniacal gleam with which Roxanne was extremely familiar.

"I have just had an absolutely brilliant idea," he announced in a voice brimming with barely-controlled glee. He rose from his seat, dramatically sweeping his cape aside to point a finger into to the air for emphasis. "I wish to become one of these foster parents!"

He was greeted by utter silence. Minion and Roxanne exchanged a nervous glance, each willing the other to speak first.

Megamind, meanwhile, noting the lack of response on the part of his small audience, began to frown, and his posture collapsed slightly.

"Uh, sir, I'm not sure that's such a good idea," Minion ventured cautiously.

"What? Of _course_ it's a good idea! It's mine!"

"Let's get people used to seeing you as a hero, first," Roxanne suggested, trying to smooth things over. "Then we can look into making you a father." Belatedly realizing what she'd said, she felt herself blushing and hoped that he'd missed the possible implications.

"But that's just it," he protested, sinking back down onto the sofa cushions as his face fell even further. "I can't become a father. Not on this planet, anyway."

"What do you mean, you can't be a father?" she asked curiously, and he shrugged.

"It's quite simple, really. Humans have 23 chromosome pairs; I have 25. It just doesn't work."

Racking her brains, Roxanne did seem to remember something about that from high school biology. That was…rather sad, actually, and provided a clear reason he'd want to consider fostering, in addition to simply wanting to be there for children who were on their own, as he had been. She actually thought he'd be a pretty good foster dad, now that she thought about it, and not having to stretch her own body to have a child had a certain appeal. The most important thing in her mind at the moment, though, was getting that forlorn look off of her boyfriend's face.

"We'll look into it," she promised him. "But I still think we should take it one step at a time. For example, if you're going to be a parent, don't you think you should really consider a home with less, you know, potentially lethal stuff lying around?"

Almost instantly, Megamind cheered up.

"Ah yes, of course!" he agreed enthusiastically. "I already freed the alligators, but I can get rid of the drills and…"

And with a new project to occupy his mental energies, he was happy again. Roxanne smiled and sat back, signaling Minion to refill her drink. Whatever the future might bring, it definitely wasn't going to be dull, and she was looking forward to it.

* * *

Author's Note: I should probably mention that almost everything I know about the foster care system in the United States comes from watching episodes of Bones. I have no personal experience with it.


End file.
